The Age of 'Ologists

You know you're middle-aged when you've entered the age of 'ologists: neurologists, cardiologists, dermatologists and on. After age 45, I felt compelled like I never had before to have minor ailments checked out by expert 'ologists. The fear behind this being, "what if it is not minor?" Would I want to know about something serious? Yes, of course.

My father was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was 47. He died at 52, after 2 1/2 years being bed-ridden. He would not go to any 'ologists. He was in several car accidents before he finally hit an 18 year old (who was ok) but wherein he was injured. Because he was slurring his words, the cop thought he was drunk and sent him to the hospital for a blood alcohol exam. My father was not drunk. The ER docs said he would be admitted. He had a major issue: a stroke or a brain tumor. I remember praying for a stroke and was upset when we found out he had a 3rd grade malignant tumor. The neurologist gave him 6 months to live. This was 1986. At the time, I wanted to move out but my siblings were still in college. My life was on hold for 5 years.

My partner's mother had a brain aneurysm when she was 47 and my partner was 14. Her mom went into a coma from which she never awoke before she died a few months later. My partner was devastated.

Our parents' deaths at such a young age for them (and very young for us to experience parental loss) quaked our cores. (Fodder for many therapy sessions!) My partner and I try to be careful health wise. Our kids are 6 (soon to be 7 in August). We both want to be there for them for as long as we can. She thinks she will exit the world around age 70. I hope to make it to 100. (A vanity thing: I just want to say that I did!) Because we had children in our middle age, we are keenly, hyper-vigilantly aware of our age and of how the loss of our parents impacted us at a much later age.

Hence: the Age of 'Ologists. I am pending a return to the cardiologist who discovered I have a heart murmur a month after my primary physician discovered an irregular heartbeat via an EKG. Who knew? I appear to have high blood pressure. (A genetic thing. I am the only one of my siblings and mother not on hypertension meds.) Part of me cannot believe it; yet, I do and I will do what I need to do to address it. Even taking dreaded medication. Ugh!

Within the past two years. I also saw a neurologist for migraines (stress and hormones). I had all kinds of tests due to the brain-cancer ridden father. End result: "normal brain" per a catscan. Hooray! Brain cancer has been an albatross of dread. The neurologist said surprisingly (thus more re-ensuringly) that most brain tests she reviews are not declared "normal."

Dermatologists. Two grandparents with minor skin cancer. Abnormal PAP plus mother with endometrial cancer. See uber-gynecologists. I am ok. Weird stuff on mammogram coupled with breast cancer aunt. Finer breast exams and diagnostics. Ok. Glaucoma in two grandparents: eyeball-ologist (I forget what they're called). Ok. And on.

I am grateful for my health and for my health care. A middle-classed privilege. An age of 'ologists is only possible if you're middle class (or better) with good health insurance. I am humbled but relieved.

Credit: my partner, lls, for the idea.