Our son came home with observations which he shared with my partner while she was bathing him and his sister. He wanted to know why his penis was different from other boys'. My partner informed him he was not circumcised but lots of boys were for cultural and religious reasons or so that their penises resembled their fathers.
The father issue was easy. No father to emulate. Religion was basically easy. We're not Jewish or Muslim. Cultural required more explaining. My partner informed our son his moms don't
believe in cutting his body since his body was his and because uncut was how he was born. My partner said we saw no reason to cut off his foreskin. When he was told how a boy's penis was cut, our son was very happy we spared him this. My partner assured him he could be circumcised if he wanted when he was 18. He expressed no interest.
Some days later our son asked me if all Jewish boys were circumcised. Some of his closest friends are Jewish. He was very shocked they are Jewish. He could not comprehend that they could be Jewish (said while grasping himself). He was wistfully sad for them. He said more than once he was glad he was not Jewish, by which it was clear he meant that he was glad he is uncircumcised.
The same night our son discussed male circumcision in the bathtub, our daughter asked about female circumcision. Oh my partner. Gotta love her. She dutifully explained it in all its varieties and noted that it was a cultural practice in parts of the world. Our daughter asked about this a few days later and I (politically incorrect that I am) told her it was a barbaric cultural practice performed in certain Third World Countries in Sub-Saharan Africa. No further explanation but over the kid's head in a comforting way. "So, it doesn't happen here", she replied, "and it doesn't happen to anyone I know?" "Yes", I answered, "as far as I know." Little girl relieved and able to retreat to her protected, privileged childhood. Amen!
Our son still asks if every Jewish boy he knows is really Jewish (circumcised) and I answer affirmatively. He remains sympathetic and yet pleased for himself and his penis.
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2 comments:
Glad to hear you two aren't the cutting types.
I think most young boys would react the same way upon realizing that some of his friends had to undergo something so obviously painful and reductive.
That is a really nice story, I'm glad that he was happy with the choice of you not cutting him, I'm uncut, but for the longest time growing up I was ashamed because of it, as other boys made fun of those with uncircumcised penises. I'm glad that I wasn't able to be circumcised, but for the longest time it effected me psychologically, now I'm happy, just like your son is. I must say you've done a great parenting job!
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