My September 11, 2001 day

On September 11, 2001, I was in my office in Newark which had a clear view on clear days of the World Trade Center. I was listening to WNYC on my radio getting ready for a staff meeting. I heard the announcer say that a plane had just flown into the WTC. I looked out my window and saw smoke come from one of the towers, then the WNYC signal died.

I called my partner who worked in NYC and asked her if her sister who worked in Tower 2 had left for work. I also told her not to go to work. She was bewildered, more so, when I explained there was a terrorist attack and she had better call her sister. She said her sister usually has gone before 9 am and she could not reach her sister since her sister didn't have a cellphone. I implored her to stay home. I don't recall what she said.

I could see the tower aflame. Everything was surreal but I went to the staff meeting nevertheless. One of my colleagues entered the conference room after me saying that another plan had hit the Trade Center. Every one was talking at once. People wanted to watch TV. One guy thought it would be "cool" to go on the roof for a good view. I snapped at him that it would not be cool because at that moment I was worried about a loved one who might be in one of the towers. A friend asked me who that was and I outed myself by steely announcing that it was my partner's sister.

A sudden latecomer to the meeting gushed that one of the networks was reporting that it was a terrorist attack. The supervisor finally suspended the meeting. I and the others went into a public room that had a TV on. It was very clear we were under attack. A plane had gone into Washington DC. There were missing planes. There was terrified panic and bewildered inaction from the crowd in the room. I tried calling home. Repeatedly, there was no answer. I began to worry.

The TV droned on that no one knew what was happening. I could not reach home or my partner's cellphone and I knew she was daft enough to try to get to the city. I decided I was going home no matter what. I went into our agency's offices to tell someone I was leaving but heard the agency chief announce that the building was closing as a precaution.

I returned to my office where I gathered my stuff. A colleague had a TV on which said one of the towers was collapsing. I saw it come down. I was numb with fear. I hastily said good bye to a few folks and ran to my car.

On the NJ Turnpike, I was able to catch an AM station in my car. As I passed along, I saw cars pulled over. I pondered pulling over when the radio announcer said that the other tower had collapsed. I pulled over to cry. I cried in car I don't know for how long. I got out of my car and I could see the dust cloud where the towers had been. In between the whir of passing cars, I could hear sobs from other motorists parked on the shoulder. I was shaking but made myself get back into the car.

My heart raced, otherwise, the drive was a blur. I pulled into the driveway, opened the door and was greeted by my partner into whose arms I collapsed with relief. She was pleased to see me but had not yet heard from her sister and was worried. And how had I known it was a terrorist attack when I called her that morning?

My partner had thought I was being dramatic in my morning phone call. She went to the gym and saw everyone was freaked out and not exercising, but instead mesmerized by the TV. At that point, she realized I wasn't out of mind and went home. She showered, tried to call her sister at work a few times and then left for the train station. When she asked where the trains were, the conductor told her the trains weren't running due to the terrorist attack and noted that she was crazy for even trying to get to the city.

My partner's sister called awhile later and said she never made it in. She was in Newark but didn't know when she could get home. We were relieved and decided to donate blood. At the blood bank, we saw everyone else had the same idea. We went home and watched the news.

The sky was quiet. Eerily so. Then there was a mighty roar. We cowered with the neighbors until we realized the roar was from jet-fighters. They're ours, we shouted with glee. Later, we visited some friends for comfort and then sat with my partner's sister after she came home. We watched TV at her place and went home feeling helpless.

When I went to work the next day, there were men with assault weapons and flack jacket patrolling the area. Again, I felt relief they were ours. In the office, everyone was stunned. Many people knew someone who was spared. Some knew people missing. Eventually, we found out some had lost loved ones.

It is only now I can write my own experience. Others already have or maybe will. Or won't. This was my 9/11 experience.