ADHD, hormones and bad mojo

Despite intending to write about our expanded family, I am drawn to write about my immediate family. Because of my son's ADHD, we switched schools at the beginning of October from a charter school to the local public school. We met with the child study team at the end of October and are waiting to reconvene to hopefully get him an IEP (Individual Education Plan).

We struggle daily and it takes its toll. I am in parent-of-special-needs-kid fatigue. I know there are families out with kids who have greater needs and issues but sometimes it just feels like you're banging your head against the wall. When a teacher calls about my son's behavior, I still cringe but want to shout, "Tell that to the Child Study Team."

We do what we are supposed to do. He have a psychiatrist for his medications and psychologist to try to improve his behavior. He was seen recently by a neurologist who confirmed my son has "classic" ADHD and nothing more. A doctor every week or so. Lots of money. Out of pocket. Lots of time.

My son was recently evaluated for OT (occupational therapy) at the recommendation of the psychiatrist, the neurologist and the pediatrician. Insurance has denied my son OT. We are uncertain if it will pay for the evaluation. The kid needs social skills as well. I guess as long as we pay out of pocket, we can do it. The cheapest specialist is the psychologist who charges $175 per hour. What would we do if my partner and I did not have good jobs? If my partner did not have good health insurance which partially reimburses some of the costs? How do other families cope?

The stress on my partner and my daughter is great as well. His behavior effects us all hard. I wish sometimes we could all have a week away from him. My relationship with my partner is under intense pressure because of this. She says I have bad mojo and I think she is too inconsistent. My irrational side screams, "Why does he always have to be a jerk!"

He can be a nice boy. He can be sweet. Those moments are more frequent than they were in the spring but not often enough. I know he cannot help some of what he does. I know he feels bad about his behavior. The days when he is just a normal kid are such a relief. But then this is followed by a day of defiance and annoying behavior. A couple of days of normalcy would be divine.

For my part, I am starting menopause. Two months without a period have been followed by a period lasting a month only stopping (hopefully maybe today) because my gynecologist put me on hormone pills for 10 days. My period will probably resume when this holiday is over. Joy oh joy. This I presume is why my temper, my patience and my compassion have been short. Very short. Especially with my son.

I will try to use my hormone holiday to gain some perspective. To get some good mojo.