Perverts in the midst

In my town, there is a dojo where I take kickboxing. I've been going there for over 3 years. My kids have attended off and on too. My daughter is a current student. My son is not. I've written about it here and in my other blog Hot Arms.

I like kickboxing. I like learning moves: defensive and offensive. Punching and kicking bags rocks my world. Sparring is a physical chess game and challenges me in so many ways.

Last month, the shihan of the dojo was arrested first for aggravated sexual contact with a 16 year old. Two weeks later, he was arrested for aggravated sexual assault on two 15 year olds ten years apart. This has shocked and upset my little world and my little town. Friends who go to the dojo have pulled out. People have accused the girls of lying. People say they always knew there was something off about the man. It goes back and forth.

I was and am still torn. The shihan is barred from the dojo and from being around kids including his own. My daughter is conceivably not interesting sexually to him but he's not there so that's a relief. I don't want to give money to a possible sex offender. He has not been convicted. I like the young men who work there as instructors and don't want to contribute to their loss of livelihood. I like working out. I don't want to go back to being a white belt and the dojo's around the corner. I am selfish and I am torn.

Women I know who've been sexually assaulted have quit the dojo. I can compartmentalize my life and separate how I feel about the shihan from how I feel about the men who work for him. I can also differentiate between my own personal experience (with sexual assault) and the experience of others. Because of my job, I cannot associate with criminals but he's not been convicted. I've dealt with sex offenders for my entire career and in terms of creep factor, the shihan is of small and obvious ick. He's got nothing on the real vermin I've encountered.

The dojo may fold. The boy instructors may or may not start their own school. I would follow the boy instructors. I am wigged out by the presence of the shihan's wife who runs a few classes and the business. I freak out when I see her. I don't want to blame her but I do. I think she somehow must of known the shihan was a pig, even if she didn't know he was a pervert, albeit not yet convicted.

For now, the shihan has not yet been indicted. He hasn't been seen in town. I and others at the dojo take it a day at a time. We all reel from the staggering sense of betrayal.