Pop goes the weasel

Today, I went to the dojo for my morning kickboxing class. The dojo was dark but the office was lit. I thought I might be the only person there. Class size has dwindled since the shihan's arrest. I saw his daughter and his wife. I a bit alarmed but proceded to the dojo where I saw two other students. As I was putting on my belt, I thought I heard the shihan's voice in the office but said to myself that couldn't be since I was told he was barred from there.

As I was tying my bandanna around my head (I sweat a lot), I turned around and there was the shihan in the flesh complementing me about my progress up the belt hierarchy. I gulped and channeled professional, neutral face, non-pulsed body. He freaked me out. It was like I'd seen a ghost. I was civil. He attempted warmth.

I participated in the class which seemed a blur. I could not focus. I could not hit the bags hard enough. I don't remember much of the class. Then it was over. The shihan had been gone for most of the class. He slipped away about 10 minutes after it started.

After class, I spoke to the other female student, a 27 year old graduate student who informed me she just signed a new 14 month contract. I disclosed I wished I had not seen the shihan. She said she missed him. I said I was conflicted about staying at the dojo and that seeing him upset me. She understood but was there for the long haul. She agreed with me that it would be better for everyone if the instructors inherited the school or started their own school.

My daughter wants to take karate through the end of the school year. She is not endangered. I don't want to upset her. I will let her attend through June. I will miss my martial arts training. I think I've decided that we need to leave.

I also decided to call the prosecutor's office to find out if the shihan has violated any conditions of his bail. I told that he was barred from the dojo. While that may only apply if children are present, who's to say my kids wouldn't come there and hang out waiting for me while I take a class, as they have done in the past. I was not expecting to see the creep. It freaked me out. Still does right now.