Our newly acquired larger family writ small

My life in the two months since the last post is harder to declare in a public, albeit not so public, forum. My partner and I recently met our children's half-siblings, via the sperm donor, for a hectic, upheaval-on-many-level weekend which I would love to write much about, but, alas, am disinclined. My kids are almost 9 and in a few years more, might read my blog. My protection of their privacy seems even more important to me than it did when I started this venture. I also have no desire to risk offending any of the mothers of the half-siblings who might read or may one day read this blog.

Some of the half-sibling mothers want to write a book about our collective experience which I think is a wonderful idea. My partner's idea was a chapter per mom and perhaps some input for kids. Another mom had the idea that the kids could do a sequel in ten years time from their perspective as they head off to college. One mom was against the idea entirely. The dilemma, should this ever come to fruition, was what to do about her. In one way, she is very integral to the whole story. On the other hand, she was disinclined to disclose to her kids their real relationship to their half-siblings. She also seemed very disappointed about how the weekend played out, about which I will not elaborate. You see: I have to protect not only my kids privacy; I must also preserve their relationships with their half-siblings.

Aside from one kid who may have Asperger's syndrome, all the half-siblings got along. They interacted pretty well with one another. Some knew others better than others, including for years. Others knew each other for shorter periods and some met for the first time. We all may never meet again altogether. We might. We will probably get together in smaller groups in various combinations. We do this, we moms, for the kids. So that the kids will have these relationships if they want them. They may not all seek to be close to one another. They may have favorites. They may want to never know these other kids at all. It's all fine.

My kids knew a boy and a girl who are full siblings for a number of years. The kids got along well. My daughter especially bonded with the girl who has a similar temperament. My daughter bonded closely with another half-sister of the same temperament as my daughter and the girl we already knew. The second half-sister and my daughter are six months apart. They have declared each other one an other's best friends. My daughter says she feels as strongly about the half-sister we first meet. You see how hard this is to write.

Yet another half-sister bonded well with a just-met half-brother. My son liked all all the kids. He declared he liked having half-brothers. He played nicely with them all and they are all younger than him. He was especially nice to the boy with Aspergers, saying matter-of-factly, "Oh, I just get that guy." I was proud of him. Very proud of my son and how far we've come and how far he's come.

For obvious reasons, it is hard to write more. Adult relationships are always more complicated.

I can and will keep my blog. My topics will still include snippets of my life which, of course, includes my family but I will try to be vigilantly discreet.