Christmas creep

I have not written a lot lately.  The kids were busy with soccer.  We we busy visiting friends and going places.  I started working in a new city.  We did managed to attend to the weekly routines of the kids' music lessons, homework and church.

We attended our Unitarian Universalist congregation most weeks.  I think it's good for the kids to get a healthy dose of morality from people besides their parents.  I think it's good to be part of a congregation of people so our kids are exposed to a cross-section of society in a community accepting of their parents and their family.

There are all kinds of Unitarian Universalists (UUs).  Most, like most people, are fine, decent people.  Some UUs, like non-UUS, are mentally ill.  Some are weird.  Some are reformed criminals.  Some are downright creepy.  I don't think there are preponderance of these ilks in UU congregations more than others.

One of my pet peeves, is people taking pictures of my kids or me without my permission.  I work in law enforcement.  I don't want anyone knowing about my kids unless I know who they are and I know them well.  I refuse to allow the kids' school or my UU congregation to public pictures of my kids.  Then, there is the misuse of photos of kids by pedophiles.  I've seen to much of that over my career.  It is the other reason I don't want my kids pictures out there for potential exploitation.  Finally,  I feel like they are entitled to some privacy until they are old enough to decide for themselves how images of them should be used.

There is a man at my church who is single and childless and who participates to a small degree with children in congregation.  He was a "mystery pal' a few years ago to my son. ("Mystery pals" is a church-run program that matches adults with children for a month and encourages adult/child to get to know one another via letter writing.  Most "mystery palss" participants are other kids' parents or grandparents.)  This man likes to take pictures at congregational functions.  Lots of people do.  Today, we were decorating the tree when he began snapping pictures of the kids, including my kids.  I was incensed.  I was also tongue-tied and said nothing to stop him.  I grumbled to my partner who shrugged.  She is less concerned and less paranoid than me.

A minute later, I regained my inner mamma-bear and marched over to the man and told him I did not want him publishing pictures of my kids any where.  He was taken-aback and defensive.  He said he was going to send the pictures to the congregation for its website. I explained I worked in law enforcement and did not want any pictures of my kids on the website for safety reasons.  He stammered and offered to erase the pictures.  I told him I appreciated that.  He murmured that he understood and it was a shame someone had to be careful about taking pictures of kids these days.  I looked him in the eye and told him, "With good reason."  He backed away, promising the pictures were deleted and his intentions good.  He also made a point of coming over later, and  said, while showing us a picture of the church's tree, "This will be the only picture I send."

My gut instinct is on red-alert with this guy but he has not done anything inherently wrong.  His interaction with children has always been above board.  But he nags at me.  He sent my family a Christmas card addressed to "Boy-name" and family.  Except the name was not my son's.  It was the name of the another boy he was a "mystery pal"to.   He pointedly asked if we received his card and he said he sent cards the his former "mystery pal" friends, all boys, and their families. This conversation was after I had told him to erase the pictures.  I was creeped out.  He smiled and then suddenly frowned when he realized I was not smiling.

I know nowadays there is a lot of openness and lack of privacy.  It would not occur to me to just start taking pictures of other people's kids.  If other kids are in the pictures with my kids, it's because it is a group shot or activity and other parents are taking pictures too.  I think it should be against the law to take pictures of other people's kids without parental permission.  Then again, I think someone should not take my picture without my permission. The Supreme Court determined long ago if someone is in public, they have forfeited their privacy and a picture can be taken and used.

So, now I have to watch this man like a hawk.  But he knows I am onto him.   I hate that my paranoia is almost always confirmed.